Joke 528

Another joke from Cliff.

60KM/H Speed limit sign in Australia. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The Perks Of Old Age

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• In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first.
• No one expects you to run.  Anywhere.
• People call at 9 (a.m. or p.m.) and ask,  ‘Did I wake you?’
• People no longer view you as a  hypochondriac.
• There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
• Things you buy now won’t wear out.
• You can eat supper at 4p.m.
• You can live without sex (but not your glasses).
• You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
• You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
• You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
• You sing along with elevator music.
• Your eyes won’t get much worse.
• Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
• Your joints are more  accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
• Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.
• Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
• You won’t remember who sent you this list. 

ONE IMPORTANT THING: 

NEVER, NEVER, NEVER,  under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.