Rob Gonda – The Digital Advertising Landscape 2015 – Keynote – (Photo credit: Fräulein Schiller)
From Will & Guy. Not really a joke, but amusing.
Funnies From The Small Ads Column
- A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms.
- Dinner Special — Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.
- Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.
- Now is your chance to have your ears pierced. Get an extra pair to take home.
- Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory.
- Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night.
- We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.
- Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.
- For Sale. Three canaries of undermined sex.
- Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.
- For Sale — Eight puppies from a German Shepherd and an Alaskan Hussy.
- Great Dames for sale.
- Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.
- For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.
- Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.
- Mt. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge. Swim in the lovely pool while you drink it all in.
- Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear nothing else.
Quotes from bizcommunity.com
- I have always believed that writing advertisements is the second most profitable form of writing. The first, of course, is ransom notes ~ Philip Dusenberry, quoted in Eric Clark, The Want Makers: Inside the World of Advertising, 1988.
- I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.
- Advertising sure brings quick results — last week I advertised for a night watchman — the same night my safe was robbed.
The Laughing Housewife 
do u have to do a lot of scanning pages to find all of these goodies????
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No, I subscribe to funny sites; and people send me stuff.
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Occasionally, I Google key words, like I did for the quotes at the bottom of this post.
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Some of these are truly a hoot. “Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.” And I loved the Alaskan Hussy! I literally choked, almost couldn’t breath with “Swim in the lovely pool while you drink it all in.”
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I love this kind of comment. It makes me happy when people laugh 🙂
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Absolutely hilarious! What a good laugh to wake up to on a wet Sunday morning. Thanks. 😆
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My pleasure. I used to love those days when I lived in SA; though they made me homesick for England. Now the never-ending grey days make me homesick for South Africa. There’s no pleasing some people.
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This is my kind of humor!
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Every one a gem – the idea of an antique lover is appealing!
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Thank you for the chuckles!
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I always wanted a second pair of ears. Instead I have to out up with a left ear, a right ear and a wild frontier.
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Laughing out loud this morning, Tilly! They seemed to get funnier further own the list!
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These were really good.
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Where can I pick up that extra pair of ears?
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Between bouts of laughter, I’m thinking it’s all in the way you say it!
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It is, but I can’t take credit for this one!
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‘Sheer stockings’ I remember them with seams all the way up the back. They are out of bounds to me at the moment with my multicoloured legs. 😦
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Poor Grannymar!
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For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers. – wonder who is trying to sell me ??????!!! Great post again.
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🙂
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Hi there, haven’t my chocolate arrived yet ????
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I did enjoy these…thanks!
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Ah, when language goes wrong. 🙂
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These ads are hilarious! It really shows you there’s a need for good writers out there.
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