From dogbreedinfo.
A Doggy Dictionary
LEASH: A strap that attaches to your collar, enabling you to lead your person where you want him/her to go.
DOG BED: Any soft, clean surface, such as the white bedspread in the guest room or the newly upholstered couch in the living room.
DROOL: A liquid that, when combined with sad eyes, forces humans to give you their food. To do this properly you must sit as close as you can and get drool on the human.
SNIFF: A social custom used to greet other dogs, similar to the human exchange of business cards.
GARBAGE CAN: A container which your neighbors put out once a week to test your ingenuity. You must stand on your hind legs and try to push the lid off with your nose. If you do it right you are rewarded with margarine wrappers to shred, beef bones to consume and moldy crusts of bread.
BICYCLES: Two-wheeled exercise machines, invented for dogs to control body fat. To get maximum aerobic benefit, you must hide behind a bush and dash out, bark loudly and run alongside for a few yards. The person then swerves and falls into the bushes, and you prance away.
DEAFNESS: This is a malady which affects dogs when their person wants them in and they want to stay out. Symptoms include staring blankly at the person, then running in the opposite direction or lying down.
THUNDER: This is a signal that the world is coming to an end. Humans remain amazingly calm during thunderstorms, so it is necessary to warn them of the danger by trembling uncontrollably, panting, rolling your eyes wildly and following at their heels.
WASTE BASKET: This is a dog toy filled with paper, envelopes and old candy wrappers. It is important to evenly distribute its contents throughout the house before your person comes home.
BATH: If you find something especially good to roll in, humans get jealous and they use this degrading form of torture to get even. Be sure to shake only when next to a person or a piece of furniture.
LEAN: Every good dog’s response to the command “Sit!” Especially if your person is dressed for an evening out. Incredibly effective before black-tie events.
BUMP: The best way to get your human’s attention when they are drinking a fresh cup of coffee or tea.
GOOSE BUMP: A maneuver to use as a last resort when the regular bump doesn’t get the attention you require…especially effective when combined with the sniff.
CHILDREN: Short humans of optimal petting height. Standing close to one assures some good petting. When running, they are good to chase. If they fall down, they are comfortable to sit on.
LOVE: A feeling of intense affection, given freely and without restriction. The best way you can show your love is to wag your tail. If you’re lucky, a human will love you in return.
Got a good laugh at of the definition of “children”.
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that was so funny!!!!
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Perfect, absolutely perfect! Both of my furry doggy girls would second that vote.
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😀 😀
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Love the point of view! I miss my Bandit!
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😦
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Precious! Thanks for posting this!
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love it..great stuff.. I shall print it out so my dogs know
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To a d. 🙂
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😀
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More good reasons to remain petless.
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Philistine! 🙂
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Awwwwww. All cute except the doggie drool. My dog is not allowed to drool.
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I bet s/he does, on the quiet 😉
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Brilliant descriptions. Perfectly captures what my dog seems to think everything is for!
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So nice to see you in here, Melanie!
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Doorbell: The cue to start barking my head off.
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Good one! You clearly have dogs; or know mine.
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I have William, a miniature dachshund. He doesn’t make a peep until the doorbell rings.
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Sweet!
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I’m going to send this one to my sister, she will love it.
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I like it when folks share the laughter 🙂
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This is just too good! From the reincarnate dog. Sharon
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So true. I have a Shih tzu. I named her Feces.
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I burst out laughing when I read this comment! Thanks for the massive chuckle. 😀
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No wonder dogs are smarter than us … *smile – when they have something like that to lean and sniff on. Brilliant – big smile again and just what I needed tonight.
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Hope you are okay?
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Looking for your address over here and found this post I missed. Great and right on target. Dianne
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